Tired

It's 7.57pm now. Out of sudden I feel very tired. Not physically tired but mentally tired. I am now sitting alone in the room stoning. This is the third blog I am writing for the day.

I am tired. Tired of study? Tired of working? Probably last night drank too much and cause my body feel so feeble now. Tired of competing with others to excel. It is always in my mind that I have to work hard and hard in order to excel. I will feel uneasy when I saw someone did better than me. I know it's not good for me to think that way but I just can't stop my brain to function.

In another way, I would say myself as can't afford to take failures. For a moment, I thought I am over it. I am no longer someone can't afford to lose. Eventually I am worse than who I used to be. I guess that's the main reason I am tired. I really don't feel like competing and give myself a relax and better lifestyle. But you think that's going to happen? NO WAY unless you want to sleep under the bridge next time..

ARGHHH, I need to make my life easierrrrr..... Siennnn arrr!!!